Admit it, we all have a tendency to believe everyone else’s life is well, perfect and ours is not-soperfect.
Reality check – things aren’t always lollipops and rainbows underneath the surface and everyone possesses a skeleton in their closet, even that one guy in your Criminology class or that girl who lives across from you in Harrington Hall.
And if you think you’re the only one, well, you’re not. We’re all thinking the same thing, we’re just too afraid to broadcast what’s really going on in our minds.
It’s time to get personal and unleash the truth about our inner thoughts. Let me give you an example: When I go to the gym, 10 seconds into my workout, I look like a cooked lobster on its way to the dinner table. Some of you can relate.
However, there are always quite a few other people who look like they just came from a Miss America Pageant.
Reality check: People don’t go to the gym to break a sweat. Instead, they dress up to check each other out.
Ever notice that girl on the elliptical beside you that smells like an ocean of Beyonce’s “Heat Rush” perfume? Have you ever stopped to observe the girls in the change room who are doing their makeup, showering themselves in jewellery and have their hair in impeccable up-dos?
And let’s not forget about the infamous Lululemon attire – matching plants, tank tops, headbands and probably undergarments, because we know they will send the illusion that we have JLO’s butt and Britney Spears’ stomach.
Last year, a friend of mine caught two girls sitting in the middle of the change room floor before their work out, using lint brushes to remove the extra fuzz off their lulus.
Girls, no one is going to notice those little fuzzies on your new workout clothes that cost you over $150.
Guys, you’re not off the hook either.
Don’t think we haven’t noticed the hand-cut sleeves on your old Welcome Week t-shirts that you personally trimmed off with your scissors to reveal your arm muscles, which have gotten bigger over the summer.
And we all know you want to show off your radiant physiques when you strut back and forth to the water fountain between every set of bicep curls, or every rep of bicep curls, depending on how many times you catch that cute girl on the bicycle checking you out while passing.
And it’s hard to miss the aroma of your Calvin Klein cologne that overpowers the smell of sweat and sneakers every time you set foot on that treadmill.
And how could we forget about your notorious Under Armour shirts that are so tight they make eighteenth century corsets look comfortable? (I’m not complaining though – keep up the good work, boys.)
So, if you think most people go to the gym to drip in sweat and pump iron, you’re mistaken. Most people are there to “check out” and “be checked out.” I know some of you aren’t like this, however, for the rest of us – myself included – let’s do ourselves a favour and spend a bit more time on our hamstrings and a lot less time on our hair.
