Ladies, don’t fear the light

Viola Pruss - Essential Credentials (Tom Bateman/AQ)

I am not one for modern chick flicks. While the storyline and dialogue is repeated often enough, it is the unromantic and utterly boring sex that throws me off every time.

A kissing scene, a woman in her underwear, and then the lights go out (not to mention that she often keeps her shirt on for the entire duration of intercourse).

It must be one of the big failures of modern feminism that we feel so embarrassed of our own bodies.

Embarrassed enough to believe that turning the lights off will improve the sexual pleasure for both partners.

Don’t get me wrong. You are not alone in dreading the daily look in the mirror.

Even after years of nude exposure to various partners, it is incredibly hard to flaunt your body with confidence after gaining yet another few pounds over the summer.

Far too many of us are ashamed of not looking like that tight-butted, slender-legged, long-haired, photo-shopped model on the latest edition of your favorite magazine.

Yes, I know. You have sagging breasts, ugly dents on your butt cheeks and too much fat on your hips. And let’s not even talk about those hairs.

Maybe it’s the image of our toy Barbie that still haunts us today.

Sadly, there is no easy cure to feel proud about our looks. One way to get used to your body (don’t laugh) is standing naked in front of a mirror for ten minutes a day.

Accept what you cannot change, embrace what you think is beautiful.

Even a healthy diet and the occasional visit to the gym will boost your ego.

The best advice, however, is to trust.

Your partner can tell you a thousand times how beautiful you are, but you are the one who needs to believe it. Eventually, when one person in a “relationship” is excessively reserved about their looks, it will often put a fatal damper on their partner’s emotions, and your sex life.

Do you expect your partner to look like Brad Pitt in Fight Club, or do you love him as he is?

So why not take your own example and accept that someone who chooses to be with you will like those little flaws of yours and still find you attractive. Why not embrace who you are and for once consider that even perfectly thin bodies are only a matter of personal

taste and not to everyone’s liking. After all, that nude Greek statue you stare at in your history book was once considered erotic.

Tastes differ. And whichever partner claims you are not beautiful enough most likely has a much greater issue with his or her self-perception than you.

Last but not least, when the lights are off, you’re missing out on so many things that make sex complete, like the look on your partner’s face.

Yes, these facial expressions can be hilarious. But the pleasure and happiness you see in your partner’s eyes can derive great confidence in our own looks and actions, and teach us more about our partner’s likes and dislikes than any advice from a cheap magazine.