Re: “Get off Facebook, Grandma”
I’m writing to express my dismay at something published recently in the Aquinian.
Some foolish young person wrote a piece called “Get off my Facebook, Grandma” that is offensive and presents a very poor image of STU to the wider community. You will not be happy to realize that it was discussed on Facebook.
It was poorly written, oblivious of facts and disrespectful to people over the age of fifty. St Thomas University is ahead of the times by being one of the few universities to have a respected Gerontology Department. Publishing such a silly piece in the Aquinian doesn’t fit with STU’s image, and I request that you ask the author to print an apology.
Wendy Rogers
Re: “Good Riddance”
Dear Writer,
Several comments in your article caught my attention and it makes me question up to what point are you really in a position to be producing material that expresses expertise (and not opinion), more important material that promotes healthy sexual lives for both men and women and for all types of sexual orientations.
First, there are women who are perfectly comfortable with their breasts and bodies overall. Stating that “no girl’’ is comfortable with them is not only contradicting to your “letting loose” concept but promoting ideas that women are constantly insecure about their bodies and that we have a reason to. When there is nothing to be insecure about, women are women in all sizes, shapes and colours.
Second, stating that men approve or not the choices a woman makes during her sexual encounters is once again underestimating the ability of women to choose for themselves what they like and prefer. Enhancing partners (male or female) to communicate with each other the things they like is a healthy aspect of any relationship, but telling women that because men like it we should all hang our bras in the doorknob is ridiculous. Women have transformed themselves for decades over to mass production of man’s desire and the approach needs to change. Is not about whether they approve or not, just as women are not approving or not of men who do not take their shirts off during sex (which happens). Furthermore, if the idea was about the general perception of women wearing a bra or not, then homosexual women should also state what they think about it, although your sex column is directed to heterosexual couples only. Overall, I understand the message you are trying to convey, but your use of wording is patriarchal and destructive to women’s attempt to have egalitarian relationships.
Third, you continue to say that if women feel insecure about their breasts they should also feel the same about their “belly rolls, floppy arms, big hips and thick tights”. I am uncertain as to who exactly is your audience. Are you trying to self-assure curvy or unfit women? If so, this discriminates the skinny, bony women who are also self-conscious of their bodies. Furthermore, it pretty much states that only women who are of bigger complexion suffer these kinds of insecurities and it promotes those who’s self-esteem is already stumbling to (on top of having to deal with this society’s constant reminder that skinny is the only pretty) worry about those areas.
Fourth, your ironic “ego tip” to wear a paper bag is simply ridiculous and once more feeds on chauvinist jokes that men have sex with ‘ugly women’ because they can put a paper bag in their heads and just sex them, like objects.
I advise you to be more careful with your language. I understand your desire to share your ideas and opinions about sex with the university community, nonetheless, as a writer you must take in consideration that the spread of information is a way to educate and create change. Young women are reading your words, women that are learning to love and accept their bodies, women that are learning to establish relationships and to have healthy sexual lives.
I do not think that is your intention to undermine us and rather to promote for us to let go of the things “silly girls” do. Nonetheless, I question if your personal experiences and thoughts apply to all of us and if you are overlooking statements that are discriminatory and harmful. All women are capable of insecurities, like all women are capable of overcoming them. I would rather see material that encourages women to love themselves, to care for themselves and to experience which ways to have sex go according to their personal desires and satisfaction. It seems quite interesting to me that writers can entitle themselves with the ultimate knowledge and the confidence to impose it onto others. I recommend that you become critical in your analysis of sexual interaction and that you take in consideration our diversity as women and as sexual beings.
Maite Loria
