Let’s talk about you and me, and our sex column

Alyssa Mosher - From the Editor (Tom Bateman/AQ)

I was probably 10 when I witnessed my first sex scene.

I was home alone and had turned on HBO – Sex and the City was on repeat that day.

I was never allowed to watch the show, but I didn’t understand why. Okay, so the title has “sex” in it – big deal. What’s the worst that could happen?

While Sex and the City is never afraid to show the “secret parts” of a women’s body, the show rarely does so for males – except, of course, for one scene in the episode I chose to watch that day: Samantha and Richard at the rooftop pool.

I froze.

Should I shield my virgin eyes? Turn down the volume? Find a channel to switch to in case my parents came home early?

Or was I supposed to enjoy this?

***

One in three university students claim to have sex once a week, according to a study in the U.K. A study in the U.S. says 79.5 per cent of college students 18 to 24 year old are having sex.

In other words, we’re pretty big fans of the concept.

And that’s why, no matter how different it has been each year, the editors of The Aquinian keep bringing back the sex column.

Four years ago, there was Amanda Jardine, who, as a lesbian from small town P.E.I., talked about the politics of sex. The following year, former features editor Megan MacKay took a comedic approach, while last year’s “Flaps and Shafts” allowed Diana Meyers to explore the experimental side of sex – and boy, was there a lot of it.

This year, we have two writers, Viola Pruss and Leanne Osmond, for the same sex column “Essential Credentials.” Both have yet another approach to a sex column.

From their individual perspectives, both talk about the subjects we don’t necessarily want to talk about, namely masturbation, oral sex, one night stands, while exploring the importance of intimacy. I, for one, have never been able to relate to a sex column as much as I do this year.

But not everyone feels the same way.

***

Last week, The Aquinian published a letter to the editor from someone who wasn’t seduced by this year’s sex columnists. She thinks their topics are boring. She liked Diana’s column last year: Diana was racy, edgy and scandalous and that’s how a sex column should be.

First of all, I’d like to thank Jana Thompson for writing this letter – we’re always open to feedback about anything you read in The Aquinian, so don’t ever hesitate to send us an email.

Secondly, I understand where she’s coming from because she’s right, there isn’t a whole lot of sex scenes in this year’s sex columns (maybe that’s why I can relate).

One of our columnists, Viola Pruss, who is originally from Germany, says she doesn’t write a lot about her personal experience because she doesn’t want to ruin what she has with her long-term boyfriend.

But I think the other reason why she steers her column in another direction – the direction that talks about PDA

and keeping the lights on – is because it brings her cultural perspective into the mix. Her column makes readers question the North American way and wonder: What the heck are we missing out on? Is there more to sex than Sex and the City?

***

There’s an entire range of possibilities when it comes to university sex columns – kind of like sex.

We all have our own reasons for what we like and don’t like; who deserves it and who shouldn’t come within 10 feet of you (let alone climb on top of you).

And no matter how much we like to think otherwise, we’re not always so good at talking about sex, whether it’s about our first encounter with someone of the same sex or about keeping those damn lights on.

And that’s what a sex column is for.

Or as Woody Allen said: “Love is the answer…but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.”