It was a crisp fall day and my mom had bundled me up in that not-so-fabulous neon, hand-me-down track suit jacket. I wasn’t impressed.
We were runningaroundthe playground during lunch hour, breaking from our usual game of “house” to play hide-and-seek tag.
I was “it.”
When it came to hide-and-seek tag, we had rules in Grade 2 – everyone had to hide within the bounds of the school and couldn’t run past our building to the Grade 6 building down the hill.
But despite these limits, that day I was having a really hard time catching up to anyone. I just couldn’t. Of course this was the greatest news for all my“friends,” whom I didn’t really consider friendsat the time because they weren’t letting me tag them.
I finally caught up with one of them. I remember grabbing a hold of her and squeezing her forearm as hard as I could, until my whole body shook and my face turned a shade of red only seen on cartoons when the smoke comes out the character’s ears.
She just laughed in my face and mocked my tantrum – and then ran away from me again.
Typical, I said to myself, then let the tears stream down my face.
You guessed it, I was a bossy kid, something I continue to be a bit paranoid of even today.
And now, as I shift into the position here at The Aquinian that’s all about being “the boss,” I’m left wondering: Where do I draw the line between being too bossy and being a good decision-maker?
If myfriendsand Iwere“playing pretend” back in elementary school, the storylines always had to go my way; if we were cleaning my room “for fun,” every inch had to be exactly how I liked it – if my friend placed one of my Polly Pockets on a diagonal, I replaced it vertically. It was insane, really – and kind of funny.
But being editor-in-chief is no game.
These aren’t hypothetical situations I’m dealing with; this is real life. And what’s most important is that I can’t just get mad at someone if something doesn’t go my way.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t done that in years. But there are often important editorial decisions that come with heading a newspaper, and they’re definitely not easy to make no matter how much help I have with making them.
Evenafter only twoweekswithThe Aquinian, tough decisions have been coming my way full-force. And when that happens, everyone wants to talk. Opinions are coming at me every which way, when all I need is my own.
All I can think is, okay, I have a deadline, there’s an important decision to make and I just need some time or space to ensure it’s made.
Decision-making is one of the most crucial parts of being a boss. It’s about trusting your gut, not second guessing yourself and most importantly – and often most grudgingly – it’s about learning through your mistakes.
And while it’s good that I’m not throwing hissy fitsinthe middle ofthe newsroom, I’ve come to realize that gravitating towards the polar opposite behaviour isn’t the best tactic either. I need some sort of balance.
First of all, I know I need to fully trust myself with the position I am in. I am here for a reason. No second guessing – just take that and go with it, Alyssa.
Second, I need to trust my editorial staff.
While those tough decisions will always be there for me to deal with, Ichose staff members for their competency and talent; theyare here to help – use that too, Alyssa.
And finally, I need to trust the readers, you guys. My decisions are based on what I think would be best for the students, the ones who make The Aquinian relevant.
I know I’ve out-grown that over-controlling, anger-induced, tantrum-like bossy phase of mine – and I’ve always known that being a boss is so much more than that.
And I’m ready to take it on completely.
