Essential credentials: Good riddance

Viola Pruss - Essential Credentials (Tom Bateman/AQ)

So you keep your bra on during sex? Silly girl.

I once thought that it was a movie cliché to convince 13 year olds that sex is a myth and breasts have no nipples.

I was wrong.

According to a survey, “48 per cent of females prefer not to bare all in bed, wearing at least one garment. The reason for 54 per cent of them is to improve body confidence. But not all men approve. When asked whether they preferred a partner to retain an item of clothing, only 36 per cent of men said ‘yes,’” The Telegraph reported in 2010.

Well, surprise, surprise.

I understand you aren’t quite comfortable with the shape of your breasts — what girl is? But by covering up, you’re ruining the fun.

Breasts are great. Touching them releases a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin makes us feel good and loved. Feeling good and loved improves our self-perception. See what I’m going for?

Due to the great number of nerve endings in breasts, some women are sensitive to touch, so I understand if you don’t like them being caressed over and over again.

Yet every guy thinks they’re pretty. And I don’t mean pretty as in Bay Watch. Big, round and juicy is an ideal of the porn industry.

Our hormones pick who we think is best to reproduce with. That person you’re dating likes you in size and length, with all parts included. If you want to help your ego, why not give in and let them smother you in compliments instead of hiding some of your best features (that’s a hint, guys).

Think of it logically. If you’re that sensitive about your “imperfect” breasts, wouldn’t you want to hide the rest too? Belly rolls, floppy arms, big hips and thick thighs – you name it. Your bouncing nipples can only work for his distraction – and your confidence.

But to be honest, they’re going to see you fully naked eventually. Why delay the inevitable?

Your man likes what he sees, even if you think it is imperfect. And if he complains, he’s deflecting his own flaws onto you.

Whatever the piece of clothing gives you in confidence will be returned in disappointment. Sex is about letting loose, about believing that your body can arouse someone else. It takes time, but you can accept it.

Still not convinced?

Then here’s another tip for your ego: ever notice the faces you make during sex, the sweat messing up your mascara, and the tangles in your beautiful, straightened hair? Think that looks bad? Well, a paper bag might help.

P.S. Thanks to all those who read my column and gave me feedback. To the people with advice when I ran out of topics, and the men and women that inspired me. I hope you keep your clothes off, the lights on, and have fun.