Porn: A question of taste

Viola Pruss - Essential Credentials (Tom Bateman/AQ)

The problem with mainstream pornographic film these days lies in the performance of its actors. Contemporary pornography is often called fast, male dominated and aggressive – far from the ideal of sexual (and sensual) pleasure most young women have in mind.

No wonder many women condemn their boyfriends for indulging in this kind of “exhibitionism.” But pornography has little to do with you – or your relationship.

We must admit that, from time to time, our sexual desires arise. While women can rely on their mental fantasy when indulging in a little private time in the bathtub or their bedroom, most men seem to lack this ability.

In the “absence” of their partner, men are left with the fantasies provided in magazines, movie stores and the internet in order to relieve their sexual tension. Pornography is a means of stimulation and relief, although most porn is as related to real-life sexual pleasure as Sylvester Stallone to a war veteran.

The woman on the screen is willing to do it anywhere and anytime. She can look “exotic, and has an incredible appetite for banana shaped objects.
She also lacks identity.

Most men and women in adult relationships will find that healthy sex does not only depend on physical appearance. Our emotional bonds and distinct personalities add as much to our desire for the other person as the look of their naked body (I refer to any kind of sex, however kinky it may be).

Perhaps, the question women should ask themselves is why they all love to talk and read about sex, but refuse to watch it?
Nowadays, far more women are interested in pornography than they would admit. While for men this activity is acceptable, for women it is still frowned upon.

Pornography, however, would not exist without both sexes. If the male focused mainstream media does not tickle your fancy, a quick search around the internet might find something that suits your interest better. There are now female pornographers with a focus on relationships, tenderness and aesthetics.

Some couples watch pornography together. It can spice up the mood or at least lead to a great laugh – and that alone, can take away much of the discomfort you may have.

P.S. If you feel uncomfortable with your partner’s choice and consummation of pornographic material, talk to him. If you dislike his taste for a reason other than described above and feel that it influences your feelings and behavior towards him negatively, you may have to reconsider your relationship.

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