Shealynne Harnish, a criminology major and single mother at St. Thomas University, was sitting in class on Jan. 8 when she heard students behind her saying she receives ‘special treatment.’
Harnish is allowed to have her phone with her in a technology-free class, because her son’s daycare has to contact her if he has a seizure.
“I wasn’t even using it, I just had it out on the desk, and I heard some girls behind me [say] ‘Maybe I should pop out a kid and I’ll get to have special privileges too,” she said.
Instead of making a complaint or telling anyone, she tweeted about her experience.
“Wow, I love sitting in class and hearing people bitch about ‘special treatment’ because I get to have my phone. I’m a single mom with a chronically ill child, it’s a miracle I’m even here you insufferable toad,” wrote Harnish in her tweet.
Harnish’s son, Noah, 2, started having seizures 12 hours after he was born. He didn’t leave the hospital for a couple months. He was in the neonatal intensive care unit, moved to pediatrics and then ended up going to IWK Health Centre in Halifax.
Balancing motherhood and schoolwork
Harnish found out she was pregnant in fall 2016. Harnish went to Student Services, Accessibility Services and the Registrar’s Office to try and find out what her options were.
“It seemed like when I was asking for help … nobody seemed to know.”
Harnish said the Registrar’s Office told her she’d either have to participate in intersession or summer session in order to maintain her enrolment at STU.
“But even then, nobody seemed sure of that answer,” she said.
She attended summer session in 2017 to stay enroled. She brought Noah to class with her. He was only 10 weeks old. She was worried if she didn’t, her chances at receiving a post-secondary education would be in jeopardy.
“I knew if I lost my enrolment at St. Thomas, I was never going to get in anywhere else and I was never going to be able to relocate … it was either keep this enrolment and make the best of it or drop out — and then you become a living stereotype.”
Besides summer session, Harnish also struggled to be released from courses after she left in October 2017, when Noah’s condition worsened. She said the Registrar’s Office took a while to take the courses she couldn’t finish off of her transcript. Although she’s in her fourth year, Harnish only has enough credits for two full years.
Michaela Beaulieu was a fourth-year psychology and English major before she submitted a withdrawal form a week ago. She has a three-year-old son named Kaiden with autism.
Beaulieu received funding for university through social development because she was a foster child. However, she lost funding because her grades weren’t high enough to maintain it. She said she attempted to take five classes per semester, each year, but inevitably had to drop some due to missed time and car trouble. During first semester, she was only able to take one course. Even if Beaulieu stayed at STU, she wouldn’t have graduated on time in May.
The university didn’t respond in time for publication when asked if there was a policy pertaining to students who are parents, outside of The Mik’kmaq/ Maliseet Bachelor of Social Work program.
Professors providing support
Harnish was in professor Janice Harvey’s class when she heard students making comments. Typically, Harvey doesn’t allow the use of laptops, cellphones or other electronic devices in her classes.
“I make it clear that if anyone needs it for some reason, they need to talk to me about it and I am prepared to make exceptions,” Harvey said in an email.
She said she’s sensitive to parents’ need to be accessible to their children and those that take care of them.
“It is difficult enough to be a student and also be a parent. I totally respect and honour mothers and fathers who make this choice and I will do whatever I can, without jeopardizing the experience of other students, to facilitate their ability to attend classes and be successful in the course.”
Beaulieu said when Kaiden was about seven or eight months old, Mihailo Perunovic, a psychology professor at STU, would hold him while he lectured. This allowed Beaulieu to take notes.
“Kaiden would actually sometimes fall asleep on his shoulder and he would just continue to hold him,” she said.
‘We’re kind of like, the hidden group’
Harnish said people will judge you whether you have the child and go to university, or you drop out after having the baby.
Both Beaulieu and Harnish have experienced peers making critical comments about them on YikYak – a now-deleted app used for discussion threads where users could post anonymously.
Harnish said she was in the lounge in George Martin Hall with her son and somebody posted “St. Thomas isn’t a daycare centre, you shouldn’t be able to bring your kids here.”
Beaulieu had a similar experience.
“After a class, someone posted on YikYak, ‘Don’t bring your kid to class if it’s going to make a bunch of noise. Some of us are actually trying to listen to the prof,'” said Beaulieu.
Harnish believes that parents who attend STU aren’t widely accepted and thinks there are “small school politics.”
“We’re kind of like, the hidden group, right? Nobody really cares enough to advocate for parents who go to St. Thomas,” she said.
“There’d be more [parents] here if the university itself made it more accessible to parents. There’s kind of a culture here that shuts us out.”
