Megan Cooke has an exciting year ahead of her. It’s her final year at St. Thomas University, the time to think about getting a real job with the English and psychology degree she worked on for four years. Graduation approaches – and with it the reunion with her boyfriend Liam McGuire.
Since the end of August, Megan and Liam have been in a long-distance relationship.
They met at STU in November 2012, a mutual friend thought they would make a good couple and arranged friendship requests on Facebook. Now, Liam continues his journalism education in Ontario and they won’t see each other again until Christmas. Until then, they will text, talk on the phone and write each other letters.
Megan said after seeing Liam every day for nine months and spending the summer with him in Ontario, they miss each other a lot.
“There’s always the worry that they forget about you if you can’t see them everyday,” she said.
“It’s only a month, but we’ve some more months to go, and I’m like ‘Don’t forget about me.’ I don’t think he will, but I guess it’s always in the back of your mind.”
Megan said she gets a lot of nice messages that make her day. In case she gets very sad, putting on Liam’s favourite sweater makes her feel better.
“Before I left, I wrote all these little notes for him and hid them in his room, so he would find them while I was away. So, he’s been finding them, and that’s been nice.”
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Viola Pruss and Alex Nowicki met in their first year at STU. Both graduated in 2012. Alex is working as communications officer with the New Brunswick Sports Hall of Fame in Fredericton, while Viola writes for a community newspaper in St. Albert, Alberta. Their long-distance relationship has been going on for a year.
Alex wrote in a Facebook message that for him “the first three months were brutal, the next three months were fine, then another brutal three months, then fine again. It’s a constant battle with loneliness and longing. You can’t feel 100 per cent happy when the other person isn’t around. Not being able to be fully happy takes it toll after a while.”
To overcome the 4,400 kilometres between them, the two write emails, text and skype almost every day. Viola said via Facebook, they also started playing the online game Minecraft and discussing about politics or philosophizing about the world.
“Discussions keep us alive during our time apart. You can’t talk about your workday forever! That gets tiring and depressing,” wrote Viola. “Alex is great at discussing, I get frustrated more often than not, but we have a lot of fun.”
Both are looking forward to living in the same city. After many hours of seeing Alex only via webcam and Skype, the first hours of seeing him in person always feels “as if that wasn’t ‘real’,” said Viola.
“This feeling sometimes comes up in lonely hours too,” she wrote. However, it’s important to remember why you are together and why you love the other person.
“As long as the love isn’t gone and nothing changes in the relationship, there’s no reason to let anything get in the way.”
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Marco Cordoni is in his first year at STU. He met his girlfriend La rainne Pasion when he attended the International School of Dakar, Senegal. La rainne was an intern with the organization Save the Children. After spending the summer in Marco’s hometown Rome, La rainne is now attending university in New York City.
Marco said their relationship is going great, although it’s sometimes difficult to see his friends “having fun” and enjoying college life with girls and parties.
“But then, I realize that no other girl, no other one-night-stand could give me what my girlfriend gives me on a daily basis. So really, I don’t have a problem,” he said, adding he’s very looking forward to meet her in Boston for Thanksgiving.
He was in another long-distance relationship before he met La rainne. His ex-girlfriend was attending the same school in Senegal, but had to move to Dubai and wanted to keep the relationship going – something Marco wasn’t too keen on. However, they gave it a try.
“I feel bad saying this, but I really wasn’t [as] into her as she was into me. So, I wasn’t really up for a dedicated long-distance [relationship],” Marco said.
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Next to good communication, commitment is a crucial factor to make a long-distance relationship work. And this commitment has to come from both partners, as Andrea Barcenas said.
Andrea and her boyfriend Paolo Petrozzi have been in a long-distance relationship for three years. While she is studying journalism and communications at STU, Paolo studies communications in Lima, Peru. She said they text and face time every day.
“If you stop talking, you forget – as silly as it sounds – the other person. Because here, in the new place, that person has never been,” the Columbian said.
“Here, all is new. If you get distracted with new friends or maybe with a new boy, it would be super easy, no matter how much you love that person, to forget that feeling that you love him.”
After being through some fights and an almost break-up, the last summer, when the two of them travelled together, helped a lot leaving Paolo to come to STU in the fall. Andrea said there’s a point in any relationship where a certain stability has been reached and situations like being apart for four months is easier to handle.
“Love in any case, I think, is a decision. More than a feeling and emotions. Love is a decision that you have to take everyday. Like everyday, I wake up thinking that I want to keep this relationship,” she said.
“Because if there is one day I will not take this decision, everything will be gone. I will just look at another guy and forget what I have with Paolo.”
