Nature
What the fuck Tadpole?
Grow some legs and get a job
You fat piece of shit
Philosophy
Stare into the void
Gaze long into that abyss
#instagramselfie
Love
My summer night girl
Held your hand, we kissed goodbye
I might have herpes
Religion
Beyoncé, my dear
My love for you knows no bounds
Please return my calls
Politics
Putin is not gay
He’s shirtless and wrestles bears
‘Bears’ are gay bikers