The code. We all live by one whether we realize it or not and it governs the way we interact with members of the opposite sex. There’s the ever-popular Bro Code, made famous by one Mr. Barney Stinson, and then, there’s the girl code. It has existed forever, is seldom talked about, and hardly makes sense.
As a woman, I guess you could say I’m committing some kind of treason against my fellow ladies by saying that, but I speak the truth.
In general, men are way more straightforward than women – they see a problem, they fix it. Things are, for the most part, thought out rationally and logically and the path of least resistance is taken. Women, on the other hand, are complicated creatures – they’re cryptic by nature and say things they don’t mean while expecting you to know what they actually mean.
Fellas, this isn’t just a problem for you.
There are a select few ladies who think more like men and wind up dealing with girls and their contradictory ways. I guess the only benefit for me is, even though I don’t quite understand why girls act the way they do, I know how they work. This has come to my advantage when dealing with sticky girl-code situations in the past, but unfortunately for men, they are not privy to such insider information.
There’s something else that differs among the codes: bro code seems to vary depending on the group, whereas girl code is more of a universal thing. Guys create their “rules” based on the personalities within their group. For the most part, everyone is clear on what is and isn’t all right. For example, one group may condemn a guy for going after a buddy’s past flame, but another group of friends might see that as okay as long as their bro is happy.
Women adhere to a mix-and-match collection of opposing ideas and frustrating contradictions that might as well be referred to as commandments.
Thou shalt not kiss that man because she kissed him first.
And that’s not even the extent of it. It doesn’t matter if the guy broke up with her or if she broke up with the guy, if she sees you talking, walking, dancing or God forbid kissing, she’s going to be hella pissed. It doesn’t matter if they dated for a day, a month or a year, it’s all the same.
Guys like to see their buddies happy. Well, I’m not sure if the same thing can be said for girls. They get jealous easily and over silly things. Sometimes unbroken girl code trumps their girlfriend’s happiness.
So, what are the options?
One, you can disregard both codes, hook-up with whomever you want and have no friends. Two, you could respect the codes, potentially ending up unhappy and carry around bitter feelings about what could have been.
Or three, be up front and open about what you’re thinking and feeling, talk issues out and compromise. Can’t we all just get along?