Arte Mechante’s guide to dropping out

“Arte, aren’t drop-outs notoriously unsuccessful? Doesn’t being a drop-out make you useless? Aren’t you a drop-out?” Yes, yes and yes.

In my unpublished manuscript Arte Mechante and the Abonimable University That Will Never Understand Him, I discuss the collapse of the modern post-secondary institution, and how it only serves to threaten the genius of true intellectuals.

“But Arte, didn’t you leave only after it was proven you were unable to do the work?”

Ah, I see you too have swallowed the lies of “academia.” As far as the University was concerned, I was a destructive force within the community. The great husk of academia wanted to crush me with its girth because of my vocalized distrust for professors and my assignment-shattering essays which always strove to break the bonds of “cohesiveness” and “grammar.”

I knew they would drag me off to their knowledge-chambers so they could suffocate me with their gaseous incompetence. For my own safety, I had no choice but to leave.

Now, I have encountered many individuals who have considered dropping out and they have expressed fear for the outcome. Due to the complexities of being a sort-of Messiah figure for the common man, I’m usually too busy to give any advice. But I cannot rest watching you all suffer any longer.

1.Understand what the end-goal actually is.

You chase after your “oh-so-special” piece of paper knowing that one day you will have something to hang on your wall besides those god-awful pieces of art you found laying in the street on move-in day. You follow along, reaching as far as your arms can stretch, stumbling as money falls from your pockets.

2.Understand that you will eventually be a mindless automaton regardless of the choices you make.

We’ve all encountered the image of the mindless drone: the ant-like worker plugging away the hours of its life in a dead-end job. You most likely have seen it in a movie, had acquaintances who fit the bill or saw the image when you looked into a mirror. That’s going to be you some day—unless it’s already you. You will have your debt, your cost of living, and your job. That is all you will ever have.

 3.Don’t worry about paying back your loans.

The only reason the economy functions is because loyal little gears such as yourself keep spinning. The more you spend, the more you’re wroth. Don’t be afraid of the endless treadmill, recognize that it’s your future and accept it. Bask in consumerism and be glorious in your finery: that’s being a human being.

There, doesn’t the inevitable nature of your existence make continuing on with an education a little pointless?

‘Thanks’ for reading! I’m sure it was very difficult for you.


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