Super Bowl Sunday has arrived, predictions are being declared online and the entire population of New England is punching the air as Tom Brady plays in his 10th Super Bowl. Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will face off against the defending champion Kansas City Chiefs led by Patrick Mahomes, the $500 million man.
For the first time in Super Bowl history, a team will have home field advantage. This will benefit Brady and the Bucs as a man his age shouldn’t be travelling so much. The 43-year-old will be close to his de-aging pool that he used to bullshit his way to yet another Super Bowl.
Though the COVID-19 pandemic will cancel the tailgating and massive parties, there are still ways to make this Sunday a top-tier experience. But remember, there is still etiquette to follow. Here are four rules for a kickass Super Bowl Sunday.
1. Don’t gather
This rule is pretty obvious but for some ungodly reason, it’s not going through some folks’ heads. I know it’s tempting to see people today and this past year has been hard, but is catching COVID-19 worth the wings and dip? I think not.
If you’re with family or your steady 10, the ones we’re close with the most, who needs a rager for a football game? Plus, less people equals more food so I see this as an absolute win.
2. Never double-dip
Personally, I don’t like dip. If you like chips so much, why do you need stuff to make them taste better? But I digress because despite my ongoing beef with dip, it’s a must for any party and especially for this Sunday.
If I see you dip twice with the same chip, I will make it my personal mission to make your life a living hell. Or just tease you, I guess … just don’t do it.
3. Don’t yell at Tom Brady
If you’ve been a football fan for the past 20 years, like you, I experienced the empire of the New England Patriots led by their quarterback, Tom Brady. While no one questions his greatness with six Super Bowl wins and three MVPs, success comes with envy.
Unless you’re a Patriots fan like myself, the football community loathes Brady not just for his success but the controversy that followed him. Scandals ranging from “Spygate” where the Patriots were caught spying on other teams, to “Deflategate” where footballs were deflated to give an advantage. Brady got suspended for four games because of “Deflategate” and ended up winning the Super Bowl the very next year.
Brady thrives on pressure and hate. Yelling at the TV in the name of hating Brady won’t affect him. It’s a TV, he cannot hear you, deal with it.
4. Find the right channel for the commercials
While the main event is obviously the game itself, an added bonus are the annual Super Bowl commercials. These are no ordinary commercials like Shaquille O’Neal’s cheesy Icy-Hot Patch ads. Super Bowl commercials go above and beyond with massive budgets, A-list celebrities and wacky humour.
But if you live in Canada, you may not see these ads because they’re only aired on American networks. If these commercials are an essential part of your Super Bowl experience, tune into American TV networks.
If you follow these simple steps, your Sunday night will kick ass and take names, and you’re all out of names.
