The Aquinian

Nod of the Head, Shake of the Fist (Battle Royal)

Who here knows what’s coming up next Sunday? That’s right… Wrestlemania 26.

Don’t lie. I know I’m not the only one looking forward to pro-wrestling’s biggest event of the year. Folks, you know me by now. I’m not one to rant or pass judgment on things.

Oh wait, yes I am!

So in celebration of Wrestlemania 26, I’m bringing you an edition of ‘Nod of the Head, Shake of the Fist’ unlike any other.

It will be a free-for-all Battle Royal. Anything goes, there are no topics off limits. It’s going to get nasty, and only one (me) will walk (roll) out with the title.

Ring the bell. Let’s do this.

First a nod of the head goes to “The Daily Show’s” Jon Stewart.

During last Thursday’s broadcast, Stewart reached a new level of brilliance. He began the episode standing away from his desk. He then went on to do his best impersonation of FOX News’ Glenn Beck.

But if that wasn’t funny enough, Stewart did the whole show as the Glenn Beck. From his mannerisms to his gestures, he channeled his inner crazy and showed the world how outrageous Glenn Beck is.

Mark my words, that episode won Stewart the Emmy.

Speaking of an Emmy, it looks like Kiefer Sutherland will be looking for work. It was reported that this season will be the last of the FOX real-time drama “24.”

Speaking as a loyal fan, I knew it was coming. Its time is up.

But in light of all the signs, FOX has still refused to comment on the show’s status. For that I give a shake of the fist to FOX. Seriously, the cat is out of the bag (and probably being interrogated). Why not officially announce the end?

What makes this news more frustrating is the rumour that FOX is shopping the series to NBC.

I don’t know who to shake a fist at here, but I’m shaking it. Unless Jack Bauer is saving the world from the evil of Jay Leno, I do not want to see it on NBC.

Next, a nod of the head goes to ABC and “Grey’s Anatomy” creator Shonda Rhimes for finally releasing Katherine Heigl from her contract.

Like “24”, it was time for Heigl to go. To say her time on the show was turbulent is an understatement. In fact, backstage of “Grey’s Anatomy” has had as much controversy as Tiger Woods’ bedroom. The actress has been asking for her release to pursue a movie career, and now she has it. So a nod of the head goes to Shonda Rhimes for letting her go. Bonus points for not throwing her under a bus.

Finally, a nod of the head goes to NBC and Donald Trump. It was announced last week that “The Apprentice” will be returning next season in its original non-celebrity format. But next season there’s a twist. Because of recent economy woes, the contestants who are battling for a job with Trump will either be out-of-university graduates, or recently laid-off workers.

It’s great that NBC and Donald Trump are trying to make a difference. They are taking a dozen people who need work, putting them in a cut-throat competition, and only one ends up getting a job. The rest will end up going back home to unemployment. Way to make a difference!

So a nod of the head to Trump and NBC, for taking the economic crisis and turning it into a positive… for them. You know what they say, when life gives you lemons, you spray the citrus juice in the other suckers’ eyes.

I think it’s clear who the winner of this Battle-Royal is.

Your winner, and still champion… Adam “Hot Wheelz” Wright.

Now excuse me while I take my title and pose to the crowd as pyros go off.

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