Movember: meet the other guys

For some men, this month is a time of posing and posturing, but for others, it’s awash with moustache envy (Ashley Swinton/AQ)

That time of year is upon us again – the time where men of all sizes grow out their moustaches to promote funding for prostate cancer.

It’s always epic, and we can all share a laugh at the crazy things we see and the greasy look of the male gender. But some of us aren’t gifted when it comes to facial hair. In fact some of us can go a solid week without shaving and no one would know the difference.

Most of the time we laugh it off, but it has an affect on those guys who can’t achieve the 5 o’clock shadow?

I spent last year growing out a moustache that should in all actually be illegal. It was patchy peach fuzz that probably had peers who didn’t know me assuming I cross-dressed and drove a serial-killer van.

I did it for the same reason anyone does it. I wanted to promote the idea any man can be affected by prostate cancer, and the more funds we raise, the less likely we are to be affected.

But it wasn’t easy to see 15 year olds with more facial hair than me. Memories of last year’s stache were reffered to as “The Horror!!“ by my friends.

I had nothing on Ted Lenihan, who rocked full mutton chops. Later, he sculpted his facial hair into an exact replica of the moustache on the monopoly guy.

“Women love the beard and the chiselled jaw line,” Lenihan says. “There was a lot of “Ooohs” and “Awe’s” from my jealous competitors and general populous.”

This is the general line of thought from people who can grow out their faces to the extreme extent of 1970s porn stars. But for people like me, and other friends I often converse with, it’s not as easy as not shaving, and a lot of people laugh at you- but it’s all in the name of the game.

Maybe women love the raunchiness of greasy staches, or maybe they haul over and vomit every time a walking tumbleweed of dirt crosses their path. Maybe we “non-Tom Selleck or Julian Walker” types are a little bit envious of the cookie dusters, but it’s not something we can control. If we had control of the way the hair on our body grew, Movember would be an overload of epicness, there would be at least 6 Big-foots on campus, and I would have a hairy Superman “S” grown on my chest.

Some women think the moustache look is a sign of confidence, while others just count the hours until December 1st. It’s so hard for some women to look at the plethora of ‘stached that one of my female friends asked “If I donate enough money, will guys just not look this dirty?”

Of course the answer is no, but anyone who’s ditched the razors for the month would consider it-not for long- but it might cross their minds.

“Back in the day, you couldn’t tell the difference between a man and a bear,” says Jeremie LeBlanc, a 2nd year Psychology major.

“Society leans more and more towards hairless men these days.”

He’s pointing out the obvious. The term “metrosexual” is popular for a reason.

Men do lots of things to set ourselves back a thousand years. We find ways to embarrass ourselves, disgust people, and if we’re lucky enough, look good while doing it.

Some of us feel shame in our inabilityto look like Johnny Depp, but we all have the same likelihood of being affected by prostate cancer. Those with peach fuzz should proudly flaunt it, donate, help the cause, and according to Ted Lenihan, “do 1000 push-ups and drink lots of whiskey” to encourage hair growth.

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