ONLINE EXCLUSIVE: Why I hate sexting

Allow me to describe a situation to you. Last term, I was laboriously going for my political science exam when my phone vibrated, “My study buddy is getting booty called as stress relief for before the exam haha.”

My partner sent it to me, joking that he suspected he’d be on his own studying soon, since his study buddy would likely accept the offer.

I pursed my lips, and texted back “Wait, is that a thing now?” Apparently it was.

I proceeded to get irate, give up on studying and moodily watched action movies while drinking beer.

It seems like sexting would be something right up my alley. I’m too busy to hang around flirting, I like writing and it can be fun for both, right?

Wrong.

First, unless you’re using obnoxious amounts of emoticons, the tone of the conversation is never completely carried over. No matter what, during sexting I think that it reads like a monotone computer voice, telling me it’s going to keep me up all night. (Joke’s on you, I already stay up all night on my laptop, typing away at assignments, so hah!)

Next up, I have to address the thought you might be having right now that if the tone isn’t too great and emoticons aren’t working then pictures will.

No. Do up your pants and close your camera app right now. That ain’t happening, even if you use Snapchat.

“But Stephanie, my pictures get erased after so and so many minutes so it’s safe to use for sexting.” That’s not why you shouldn’t be taking those pictures. Are you seriously telling me you’re so horny that you can’t wait until you’re with your sex partner for them to see you naked? Stop.

Speaking of pictures, I am not one of those people who get impressed with pictures. Congratulations, you have a sexual organ, I do too. I don’t feel the need to show you. Put it away, please.

Finally, any attempts that I have ever made in sexting included proper grammar and spelling. However the other participants did not always follow suit. In case you’re wondering, seeing the wrong spelling for “your” during sexting is kind of like hearing someone yell “yep” during sex. It makes me want to laugh until I’m crying.

Yup. Kinda kills the mood.

So personally, I’ll just stick to light flirting via text. I’d rather not have an Omegle/Chat roulette experience peppered with terrible grammar.

“I’d rather cuddle, then have sex.” If you’re good at grammar, you’ll get it.

*Wink*

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  • Stef

    I’d really like to know, if there is somebody who doesn’t get the last grammar quote 😀

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