Essential Credentials: What is sexier than confidence?

Leanne Osmond - Essential Credentials (Tom Bateman/AQ)

Confidence is sexy.

I’m sure you’ve all heard that many times, but how many of you actually listen? I know it’s not exactly easy to be confident, especially at this point in our lives. For most people confidence comes after graduation and with age. But I say, why wait?

A lot of things factor into being confident. It’s not just how attractive or accomplished you are, although there are a few who wrongfully make that assumption.

Confidence is in the way you carry yourself, the way you speak and the way you interact with others. Confident people are the ones who walk into a room and you can just tell they are secure with themselves and that is what oozes sex appeal.

I’m not going to pretend that there isn’t a certain amount of interest that lays in appearance, that’s hardwired into our brains. I’m also not going to pretend that there is such a thing as being 100 per cent self-secure – everyone has something they don’t particularly love about themselves.

The difference is learning to embrace those qualities for what they are instead of dwelling on them and letting them get to you, that’s when confidence slips out of reach.

However, there is an issue that can arise from confidence – cockiness. This is ugly and unwanted by most people, myself included. It is one of the biggest turn-offs there is. These are the people with an air of arrogance about them and you can spot them a mile away – think the bros on Jersey Shore and you’ll immediately understand what I’m talking about. That’s not sexy.

I know confidence is difficult to achieve, but it is possible. Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and find the things you like about yourself – focus on those things. Think about what makes you different and interesting and learn to love and embrace what makes you you.

This can still be really hard for people, so dare I say you can even fake confidence – I did it for years. The beauty about that is more often than not, faking confidence will turn into real confidence. You learn to become comfortable with yourself on a different level and before you know it you’ll be the one walking into that room feeling secure.