Don’t call me a slut

Slut is one of the most annoying words to hear. It’s on par with slang like “yolo” and “swagger,” which means it’s pretty much guaranteed to throw me into a massive, frothy, cut-off-everyone’s-heads rage.

Luckily, chocolate also exists to calm me down.

There are an estimated 220 derogatory words to describe sexually promiscuous women, and only 22 such terms for men. This is an example of slut shaming, a term for when someone is made to feel guilty or inferior for behaviour that deviates from anyone else’s’ view of what is acceptable. I’m not blaming slut shaming on anyone, I’m blaming it on everyone, myself included.

As we have all been informed from movies like Mean Girls and Easy A, we really do need to stop using these words on others. They are harmful, hurtful and unacceptable. We also need to realize that it’s not okay to use them on ourselves.

Have you ever been in a sexual encounter and thought, “What if someone knew I was doing this? They’d think I was gross.” Did you immediately stop what you were doing or beat yourself up for it? Were you so ashamed that you just weren’t yourself? Or did you avoid the other person you shared that experience with?

Different people are wired different ways. We all like what we like, embrace sexuality in different ways and respond to everyone else’s sexuality differently. That’s okay. That shouldn’t mean we are judged on our sexuality. If you have sex with multiple partners, that’s your business. Same goes for monogamous people, people who have chosen to be abstinent or people who are asexual. As long as your activities involve responsible decisions such as check-ups, contraception if required and consent of all parties, you’re in the clear.

So, now it’s time for the tough part. I want everyone to avoid using sexual terms as insults. Don’t use them on others and don’t use them on yourself. Try this for at least a day. It’s harder than you think and very eye-opening.

If you ever have problems embracing your sexuality, I sincerely request that you watch a television show called Lost Girl. It challenges preconceptions about sexuality such as multiple partners and same sex relations, which makes it easier to accept what should be the norm. I really hope that once you make a start in accepting your own sexuality, you can accept others’ as well.

So, you’re allowed to think whatever you would like about sex and your sexuality. Just remember everyone else has this right too, and no one should ever be called a slut.

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